7/12/06: Columbo: The Complete Fifth Season

We were all set to write about Perry Mason, and it turns out that pushy broad Ayn Rand beat us to it. Now we have to dig out last month’s release of Columbo: The Complete Fifth Season. But that’s okay, since we need the rumpled detective now more than ever.

The show’s big gag was Peter Falk playing dumb. The recurring theme was the average American being taken for a fool. There were three kinds of Columbo villains: Arrogant Jerks, Rationalizing Simps, and the Sadly Corrupted. This slate of murderers allowed Columbo to be a watchdog over the post-hippie amorality at the start of the '70s.

It was a time when $2 million was still a lot of money, and it wasn’t realistic to kill anyone for less. It was a time when Lt. Columbo could confront the murderer alone with the evidence and not be accused of planting anything. There was no arguing once Columbo nailed you. He was a force of nature. He was murder being outed.

Not that Columbo was an outdated moralist. The married lieutenant was an incurable flirt, and he was always ready to turn that glass eye to lesser offenses. Season Five even has Columbo letting Janet Leigh off the hook for killing her husband. And, like Perry Mason, Columbo would often risk his reputation with desperate tricks. That’s the problem with cheating to get ahead. Murderers can’t complain about how they’re caught.

Michael Moore and Joseph Wilson would make great Columbo villains. For our purposes, though, Season Five has 1975’s “A Case of Immunity.” This classic episode has Columbo taking on a murderous Mideasterner on the foreign soil of a Los Angeles embassy. As the Arrogant Jerk from fictional Suria, Hector Elizondo (!) acts supremely creepy even without having CAIR in his pocket.

It’s a pleasure to see Lt. Columbo—or anyone—respecting a foreign culture while insisting on Western justice. The climatic confession is actually pedestrian for a Columbo, but it’s followed by a great scene where our guilty guest suddenly develops a preference for American courts. This was before the O.J. trial, too.

And there’s your sad reminder that Columbo was of a place and a time. Forget any of the ones made during the '80s or later. By then, our favorite lieutenant couldn’t solve a case in any way that wouldn’t get thrown out of court. Well, maybe you should watch the 1993 one with William Shatner as a talk-radio host. That’s pretty fun.
    
Make it your own: All the Columbo seasons offer some great conservative moments. That’s why I reserve the right to keep featuring the lieutenant. My favorite episode won’t even come along until Season Six.

 

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