7/25/06: Small Soldiers (1998)
We finally got around to watching Joe Dante’s
Homecoming, released last week as part of the "Masters of Horror" DVD collection. The cable series certainly hit a new low in creepiness. For those who’ve forgotten,
Homecoming is about zombie U.S. soldiers returned from the dead—and Iraq—so they can cast an anti-war vote. Why don’t Saddam’s victims rate voting rights? Because
Homecoming has a moronic and desperate message.
Joe Dante wasn’t always desperate, though. He’s made
many fine films, and
Small Soldiers is one of his best. The movie was released in the summer of 1998, when the trailer—featuring Army action figures terrorizing a home—looked more like
The David Koresh Story. There’s probably some peacenik message in this tale of high-tech war toys gone bad. Thankfully, the film works better as a Christian parable.
As conceived by their Creator (at the toy company), the action figures of the Commando Elite are designed to destroy the freakish Gorgonites. Those freaks are innocent believers, too. They were originally designed as educational toys in search of knowledge. It’s part of their quest for the land of Gorgon. Then worldly toy executives decide that these gentle believers are better suited as the enemy of government forces.
Things go wrong when some misplaced Army computer chips bring the Gorgons to life, only to be hunted by the equally animated (and homicidal) Commando Elite. These crazed military figures have a recurring mantra of “Expect no mercy.” And what is one of our favorite Christian virtues? Here’s a clue: Its quality is not strained.
(
Mercy, you goddamned atheists. The quality of
mercy is not strained.)
The Gorgonites are programmed to do two things: lose and hide. The losing part will sound familiar to any Christian who daily takes on the World. Hiding echoes another part of the Christian experience. You know them as being cool and respected, but there was a time when Christians could only gather under threat of death. Actually, there are a lot of Christians for whom that time is now.
Fortunately,
Small Soldiers was also the trigger-happy feel-good film of 1998. The Gorgonites' quest for knowledge leads to a realization that warfare is necessary to their survival. They lose, of course, but they are also saved. They’re saved by a heavenly vessel.
Hard to believe, but this was once a typical Joe Dante movie. He used to emulate the good Hollywood liberals of the 1950s. His work was rational, compassionate, and tolerant. Then
Small Soldiers became yet another bomb in a string of box-office failures. Dante’s responded by becoming shrill and dishonest. We’d like to forgive him, but we may not be Gorgonite enough.
Make it your own: Easily
found cheap, and it’ll look nice on the shelf next to your
VeggieTales.
