8/29/06: Three O’Clock High (1987)Others can laugh about it, but RightWingTrash is old enough to have endured the ABC After School Specials. That includes the idiocy of 1974’s
Pssst! Hammerman’s After You! This educational drama offered an important lesson about school bullies—mainly, you should always let them beat you to a pulp. You’ll win their respect. And don’t we all want to be respected by sadistic creeps?
The only kid who took
Hammerman seriously grew up to be Robert Fisk. Others just wondered what kind of adults were in charge over at ABC. We were too young to know about the post-Vietnam mindset.
Adults were more reasonable by 1987. That’s when
Three O’Clock High came along as a brilliant little sleeper. It didn’t rule the box office that year, but the film continues to resonate as a political parable.
Jerry Mitchell is an earnest and decent high-school kid. He’s friendly, kind of nebbishy, and stays busy writing for the school newspaper and managing the school supply store. A bad day gets worse when he’s assigned to write a cheery article on new kid Buddy Revell. It turns out that Buddy is very private and extremely psychotic. The only thing Buddy likes discussing is his set of brass knuckles.
Jerry almost escapes his initial encounter, but makes the mistake of attempting a last harmless gesture. This involves touching Buddy. Buddy doesn’t like to be touched. Jerry’s then informed that Buddy will be giving him a severe beating at the end of the school day.
Jerry is terrified, and spends the rest of the film trying to avoid his grisly fate. He quickly learns that his beloved school infrastructure is useless. Buddy enjoys violence, and he’s quick to pummel any of Jerry’s defenders. All the adults are oblivious or overconfident. The poor guy becomes so panicked that he finally embezzles money from the school store to pay off Buddy.
See, that’s like negotiating.
Buddy takes the money, makes Jerry feel like crap, and heads off to continue his reign of terror. That’s when our own little buddy decides that, yes, he really does have to go to war. This is no
Hammerman, though. In an ending that actually makes sense, Jerry learns the necessity of escalation and meeting a psychotic aggressor on his own unfair terms. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss the post-Vietnam mindset goodbye.
Jerry gets Buddy’s respect, too, but that’s not treated like a big deal. The film’s final message seems to be that violence can be both moral and profitable. Also, never hold back your emotions while giving a book report.
Make it your own: Buy this one and tell any teenagers you know that they’re absolutely forbidden to ever watch it. See, that’s like reverse psychology.
