2/2/07: Radio Birdman: “Aloha Steve & Danno” (1978)It’s a weird end to a weird week here at RightWingTrash. We were tempted to take the day off out of shame for being even on the peripheral of pop-culture hipsterdom. The only thing more hateful than
these two dotbrains is their fan base who believe it’s relevant that the Boston authorities are so incredibly uncool that they can’t recognize characters from
Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Also, those two couldn’t come up with a hipster topic less tired than ’70s hairstyles? It’s a miracle the press conference didn’t end with a rendition of “Conjunction Junction.”
But we still believe that there’s greatness in pop culture all over the globe. In fact, we’ve been meaning to honor
the fine Australians who went out of their way to sport their country’s flag at the recent Big Day Out music festival—after the promoters had tried to ban the flag as a symbol of hate.
The bad news is that we’ve spent most of January listening to recent Australian rock acts—over 55 of them—and it doesn’t seem like the place has put out a decent band since
My Friend The Chocolate Cake. (
The Mutton Birds were from New Zealand.) Sorry to be living in the past, but our own musical salute to Australia is via Radio Birdman and “Aloha Steve & Danno.”
This was a defining tune for these garage-rocking Aussies back in the ’70s, despite being atypically bright and punchy. This tribute to the TV cop show
Hawaii Five-O was certainly one of the year’s best songs for Young Republicans. We’ll explain why after you
enjoy the video or admire the lyrics as prose poem:
Got to get a line to Danno/Got to pick up his gun/Get out an APB/Chinn is going to tell you why/Government says it’s high priority/Washington says so, too/Tell him to get here fast/Five-O’s on the move.
Steve, I gotta say thank you/For all you've done for me/The nights are dark and lonely/When you’re not on TV.
There's an agent in the field/I wanna have him tailed/He's staying at the Hilton/He should be staying in jail/He's working for the KGB/And here's his dossier/The Feds won't be happy/If this guy gets away.
Steve, I gotta say thank you/For all you've done for me/The nights are dark and lonely/When you're not on TV.
Don't talk about espionage/Hands on a bale of White/Steve is one cool guy/Danno's gonna tell you why/Steve and Danno, they made the scene/The agent had done his deed/They saw the stiff/They saw the gun/They said, “Book him, Danno, Murder One!”
Steve, I gotta say thank you/For all you've done for me/The nights are dark and lonely/When you're not on TV.
Book him, Danno, Murder One!We’ll regret not making this its own posting, but
Hawaii Five-O starred Jack Lord as Detective Steve McGarrett—assisted by James MacArthur as Danny “Danno” Williams. There’s a dismissive entry in
The Best of Crime and Detective TV that sums up the typical Leftist attitude toward the show. The authors admit that
Hawaii Five-O was quality television, but whine about McGarrett’s lack of “compassion and humanity,” along with the show’s “vaguely racist” elements and “quasi-fascist message.” (You can guess that they also don’t like
The F.B.I. or
S.W.A.T.)
McGarrett was actually one of the most sensitive cops ever seen on television, and
Hawaii Five-O remains the ultimate police procedural. Deniz Tek—frontman of Radio Birdman and several great subsequent bands—is also a physician and former Marines flight surgeon. That’s the kind of man it took to honor Steve McGarrett in a pop-culture world that was already in a Leftist lockstep.
Tek is also an American. He went to Australia in 1971 as a med student, and stayed to become a rock legend. Tek’s been back in the States for a while, but we’re proud to share him with Aussies who fly their flag.
Make it your own: A lot of young fans were very happy to see Radio Birdman live last year, as Tek reformed the band for the impressive
Zeno Beach. All the vital early Radio Birdman—including “Aloha Steve and Danno”—can be found on
The Essential Radio Birdman (1974-1978). “Aloha Steve and Danno” is also among the 50 sharp tracks on
Do the Pop: The Australian Garage-Rock Sound: 1976-’87.
And don’t forget
The Trilobites.
