3/26/07: Ben Colder
“Harper Valley P.T.A. (Later That Same Day)” (1968)Most people don’t encourage us, but the lovely Dawn Eden
once wondered what we’d have to say about the 1968 hit “Harper Valley P.T.A.” That same link will take you to another writer who mulls over how the Jeannie C. Riley song is fairly neutral as a political statement. Yes, the proudly liberated widow woman—by the name of Mrs. Johnson—tells off the hypocritical members of the Harper Valley P.T.A. The woman’s daughter, however, narrates the song. That kid’s hardly an unbiased party.
The original lyrics are
here, for those who need to be reminded of the whole sordid episode.
It’s always a good idea to remind folks that this site lacks any moral high ground. Still, “Harper Valley P.T.A.” is worth dissecting just for creating a proper liberal heroine. We’re often irritated by Republican hypocrites. We’re even more irritated by how those on the Left can’t understand how inherently flattering it is that only Republicans seem to be worthy of condemnation as hypocrites.
Which brings us to the greatness of Sheb Wooley, and the shamelessness of Ben Colder.
Sheb Wooley used his “Ben Colder” pseudonym to record many popular parodies of hit country songs. “Harper Valley P.T.A. (Later That Same Day)” continued the tradition of Colder as a cornpone Foster Brooks. (For those under the age of 45, Foster Brooks was a funny drunk like we don’t get to enjoy on television anymore.)
“Harper Valley P.T.A. (Later That Same Day)” has Ben Colder addressing the group shortly after Mrs. Johnson’s dramatic appearance. Ben was on his way to Kelly’s Bar, but he saw the “P.T.A.” sign and thought it meant “Party Time Already.” Since our hero is drunk, he doesn’t have to worry about anyone making snide comments about his own bad habits. This means Ben is made out of kryptonite to a superbitch like Mrs. Johnson.
For starters, Ben is unimpressed by Mrs. Johnson’s complaint that disapproving parent Bobby Taylor had asked her out seven times: “You say ol’ Bobby Taylor’s sittin’ there, and seven times he asked you for a date? Well, hang in there, Bobby—she’ll probably come around if you just wait.” Neither does he let Mrs. Johnson get away with her crude suggestions about why Mr. Baker’s secretary suddenly left town. Ben explains that the secretary was expecting—that is, expecting a better job in another city.
Ben then wonders if Mrs. Johnson’s husband is actually dead, before setting her up for a fine pun about Johnson grass—which country music fans of the time knew to be a noxious weed. He then closes his address to the Harper Valley P.T.A. by holding a vote to throw Mrs. Johnson out of town. Ben’s got the crowd behind him, because he’s more outraged by some self-righteous floozy than by the flaws of those who believe in a moral code. As Ben assures his townsfolk, “This is just a little Peyton Place, and you’re all Harper Valley son-of-a-guns!”
Mrs. Johnson, let’s assume, moves to San Francisco.
Make it your own: Once again, the Bear Family label gets a complicated compilation done right.
Eskimos, Mean Old Queens and Little Bitty Steers has 14 of Ben Colder’s biggest hits—and pairs each song with the original classic that Colder was parodying.
And, in the spirit of equal time, we’ll note that there was the other follow-up of
a 1978 movie (and, later, a TV series) that leans heavily towards the side of Mrs. Johnson. Everyone’s better off with Riley’s complete
Harper Valley P.T.A. LP, which serves as a kind of
Spoon River Anthology for the little Peyton Place. The album remains unreleased on CD, though, and none of the Harper Valley-related songs ever show up on Riley’s compilations. Maybe the legal department couldn’t prove any of Mrs. Johnson’s wild allegations.
