4/2/07: Animal Farm (1999)

We’re knocking out this entry on April Fool’s Day, so let’s salute one of the greatest hoaxes in the history of Leftist porn. We were certainly suspicious when TNT—that being Turner Network Television—announced their small-screen take on Animal Farm. We didn’t expect Ted Turner’s empire to show any honest attack on Communism, even if the recent big-screen success of Babe suggested that audiences wanted more talking animals.

But we were, in fact, pleased to see a faithful adaptation of George Orwell’s classic political allegory. It was genuinely unnerving and entertaining to watch as the animals overthrew their human owner, only to then discover that the clever pigs who came up with the plan had their own tyranny in mind. The film nicely built to Orwell's chilling conclusion where the other animals look in to discover the pigs cavorting with human farmers, and are unable to see a difference.

We noticed that there was still 15 minutes left in the running time, but thought that would likely be filled with a making-of documentary. We must’ve also been expecting a visit from the Tooth Fairy. After the commercial break, the story continued with an amazing new twist. It turns out that the humans come back with a more enlightened attitude, and life gets better for all those animals who’d fallen under a tyrannical rule.

There wasn’t some red rooster who came along and dared to declare that the porcine powerbrokers were evil. There wasn’t any kind of revolution from within or without. Things just got—better. It was all natural and stuff. Just the way that the Soviet Union got sorted out at the end, without anybody having to actually address the threat. The only thing missing from TNT’s fantasy was an Animal UN. We’d call the whole thing Orwellian, except Orwell wasn’t a villain.

Make it your own: TNT’s Animal Farm is missing a few vital characters that present the whole allegory—specifically, characters that address how pacifism fails and religion is oppressed. You still might enjoy buying a used DVD and turning off the film at the appropriate moment. Or you could go to the local Dollar Store and probably find a copy of the 1954 animated film that gets everything right.

 

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