2/15/08: Law & Order: “Illegal” (2008)
It’s been a while since we’ve done one of these, but we couldn’t resist the TV listing for last Wednesday’s Law & Order
: “A death at a peaceful protest implicates the police.” We had to tune in just to see what kind of group holds a “peaceful protest” in the world of our favorite Leftist laff-fest. (As previously enjoyed here
Not surprisingly, it’s a protest to celebrate illegal aliens. Hey, check out that episode title: “Illegal.” That’s, like, a word, and it’s also a horrible epithet. Remember how Hillary Clinton declared that no woman is illegal? She was taking a stand against that kind of thing.
Anyway, a protester—also an accountant—named Maria Soriano is shot dead during that peaceful protest which turns into a riot. It looks like the police overreacted. In the case of Ms. Soriano, fatally. The evil pro-police faction at City Hall isn’t interested in pursuing the case. Fortunately, they’re up against Lieutenant Anita Van Buren, who’s part of the Law & Order
universe of hardened liberal NYC policemen. Er, policepeople.
It doesn’t take long for Van Buren’s fellow good Leftist cops to find the auxiliary policeman who shot Soriano. He’s a real twerp who isn’t man enough to be a real cop, and shot his weapon—that he isn’t really allowed to carry—out of sheer frustration. You know, a real auxiliary policeman was recently killed in Manhattan because he bravely walked the streets in a uniform without a gun. Nice timing, Law & Order
When the cops arrest the weasely “Officer” Rodchenko, the poor guy tries to reason with the Leftist Mod Squad: “I have nothing against those people. I’m an immigrant myself. I came here from Bosnia with my parents when I was ten.” Rodchenko doesn’t realize he’s in an episode of Law & Order
, where no authority figure is innocent. Unless, of course, he or she is a cop working under Van Buren, or a prosecutor working under District Attorney Sam McCoy—whose character has been promoted in the wake of resident conservative turncoat Fred Thompson leaving the show to run for President.
At this point, though, we’re kind of baffled. If Rodchenko’s really an immigrant, how will he become a villainous conservative? Enter special guest star John Pankow as Assistant D.A. Josh Lethem. In true Very Special Episode fashion, we’ve never seen him on the show before. (He might’ve shown up on one of the Law & Order
franchises.) We’re told that Lethem has prosecuted lots of cases, but none involving bad cops. He’s a cop lover, and McCoy is furious over how Lathem doesn’t push hard enough for a grand jury indictment against Rodchenko.
This is where it gets good. In fact, this becomes a defining episode of Law & Order
. McCoy argues with Lethem, and accuses him of “serving an agenda.” McCoy must have read the episode’s official NBC synopsis, which assures us that “Lethem has his own biased agenda, bringing McCoy’s liberal background into question.”
Lethem starts by noting that McCoy (remember, he’s still new in the job) is finally rearing “his shaggy liberal head.” As a typically tolerant liberal, McCoy immediately fires Lethem. Then he sends good liberal Executive Assistant D. A. Michael Cutter to get Rodchenko.
Cutter’s team finds more evidence, and Rodchenko goes on trial. Cutter cross-examines Rodchenko, and cleverly reveals that the poor sap is just another loser auxiliary cop with an urge to kill. Lethem then appears for the defense. He testifies that the entire trial is the result of McCoy pursuing a vendetta against Rodchenko. Lethem explains that “McCoy is biased against police officers,” and that “McCoy’s record speaks for itself.” He’s telling the truth. Cutter ends his cross-examination of Lethem with a snide question—and then denies Lethem the opportunity to answer.
McCoy is outraged at any suggestion that he’s a Leftist. He rushes to take the stand, and the defense attorney basically brings up the entire recent history of Law & Order
. She notes that McCoy’s history of prosecution makes up a “liberal hit list” against conservative types—at least as they’re defined by the good liberals who write for the show.
McCoy—unlike Lethem—is allowed to answer questions. He finishes a self-righteous rant by stating, “…and where there’s a victim, I’ll speak for the victim.” More importantly, Law & Order
will create victims. Have you heard the line about how more abortion clinics have been bombed on Law & Order
than in real life? We’ve never fact-checked that, but it’s probably true.
For the big climax, the jury finds Rodchenko guilty as hell. McCoy is vindicated! Liberal agendas are vindicated! Law & Order
is vindicated! This is the best episode ever!
And it gets better. McCoy is back in the office with his crew of Leftist lawyers. He hands them a 700-page report on who’s guilty in the wake of that riot. Is it anti-protestor? Is it anti-cop? “Both sides,” proclaims McCoy, “will be angry with me.”
Yeah, we’ve heard that before. It’s the line that good Leftist reporters use when they’re caught parroting the Democratic Party line. What these reporters mean is that they offend both regular conservatives and Leftist loons who think the reporter is helping to cover up how President Bush and his Jewish pals blew up the World Trade Center.
McCoy’s probably fooling himself. The episode’s writers, however, are finally embarrassed. As a last punch line, they have Cutter give McCoy a Bobby Kennedy tie pin from 1968. Cutter bought it on eBay, probably using the official Lib Dem VISA Card
.Make it your own:
It’s the usual deal with Law & Order
. You can catch a rerun soon enough, and then they’ll show the episode once a week on the USA Network.