5/14/08: Avalanche (1978)Disaster movies weren’t quite dead when Roger Corman came up with
Avalanche. The real disaster was yet to come, with 1980’s
When Time Ran Out… putting an end to the genre. Corman’s contribution was actually kind of pedestrian—except for the non-avalanche footage, which combines moronic characters and environmentalist pandering for a Leftist feel-good epic.
Rock Hudson stars as the developer who’s upset that protestors are interfering with the opening of his fabulous new ski resort. “Does this look like I’m destroying?” he asks, looking out at his man-made paradise. “I’m creating a beautiful life here!” But some locals don’t appreciate that, including the do-gooders investigating a corrupt planning commissioner. Robert Forster is also around as a photographer who isn’t happy over the trees being removed to make ski slopes. He’s quite the nature boy, able to prove environmental impact with the mere tossing of a snowball. Some people have to go and make documentaries.
Mia Farrow shows up at the resort as Rock’s estranged wife. Or ex-wife, since there’s some kind of hassle about her using her maiden name. All we know is that Rock keeps grabbing Mia and kissing her really hard. It’s no dice, but Hudson isn’t missing out on much. Farrow doesn’t seem aware that the ’70s are about to end. She’s got a vocabulary full of feminist declarations. “You stifle me,” she explains to Rock. “I need my space. I need some room!”
(We’re talking about Farrow’s character, of course. The actress must have known the ’70s were ending when she signed on to make this film.)
Anyway, it turns out that what Farrow really needs is a night of love in Forster’s rustic mountain home—which is how we’d describe our house if we lived in a shack on the edge of a mountain. No wonder the guy’s so worried about Rock’s ski resort. One kid could slip on the bunny slope, and it looks like Forster’s place would be set to do some downhill racing.
Farrow’s impressed, though. “Wow,” she declares. “What a wild place to live.” She admires a picture of a ram’s head on Forster’s wall, but she’s lucky it isn’t an actual goat’s head hanging there. Forster—who’s usually one of our favorite actors—is mostly foreshadowing Christian Slater in this role. You’d expect the titular disaster to be triggered when one of his mail bombs goes off early.
The next morning, Rock proves himself to be a good businessman by using Caterpillar bulldozers to build his place. There is no finer bulldozer. He’s also got a topless babe serving him orange juice in his hot tub.
Forster has to settle for leaving a sleeping Farrow a note before he goes off for a morning stroll. That’s when the avalanche hits, thanks to a business executive’s private helicopter that crashes into a mountain peak after running low on fuel. It’s always fuel’s fault.
The resulting carnage kills many people, but respects that our three leads have top billing. We’re not exactly sure how Forster survives being caught out in the middle of the mayhem. The camera just might ignore him through all the action—which, we’ll note, is signified by what looks like a ton of Styrofoam chunks. Maybe things have changed, but that stuff definitely wasn’t good for the environment back in 1978.
Some more people live, some more die, and the film keeps playing out like an episode of
Dynasty. There are a few brilliant moments that we don’t want to spoil. The obvious thing—as noted—is that Forster’s cabin survives, as does Farrow and Forster and Hudson. The ending is where
Avalanche becomes a true Leftist fantasy.
Forster wraps up his very short love affair with Farrow by declaring, “I like you just the way you are.” “You take care,” she replies. Well, who wouldn’t like Farrow just the way she is? Not even a natural disaster can keep her from neatly wrapping up a one-night stand. Then she heads over to what’s left of Rock’s office. She offers a toast: “We survived.”
Rock responds by saying the sexiest thing a newly environmentally-aware lady could want to hear: “I caused all of this. I’m responsible.”
“You’ve never said that before,” replies Farrow. “I love you.” She still won’t have sex with him, but that’s okay. That gal with the orange juice is probably still waiting in the hot tub.
Make it your own: The only bonus feature about
the Avalanche DVD is that it’s billed as part of “The Actor’s Series” in the Corman reissue campaign. These are the least important acting experiences in the history of Corman’s empire. The film’s still worth watching—and, yes, it would’ve made more sense if we’d ran this entry during winter. We wanted to, but it was a pretty mild winter.
