2/24/09: Olympic Fever (1979)
We’re still unhappy about that recent
National Review list of the 25 Top Conservative Movies. We won’t bother linking to it again, though. We’ll just add that the culture war seems to be lost more than ever. Fortunately, we can still celebrate our favorite kind of movie that’s always kept us from being an established part of the losing side.
Olympic Fever didn’t spawn as many sequels as
Friday the 13th, but this good-natured adult film was just as vital in foreshadowing the Reagan era. There couldn’t have been a better movie for certain young conservatives to see during their first time ever in an actual X-rated movie theater. (That would be Birmingham, Alabama’s own Pussycat Theatre, which wasn’t really part of the famous California chain—as discussed in
our recent interview with exploitation legend David F. Friedman.)
Popular ’80s adult star Laurie Smith made her debut in this film under the billing of “Kristen,” which also happens to be the name of the Olympic athlete she’s playing in the film. She’s a member of the U.S. swim team, so she must be confused that she’s training in a camp covered in snow. Ignore that part—or at least until co-star Connie Peterson does an amazing outdoors sex scene that shows true American stamina. Kristen has less stamina. She’s really underperforming, but becomes an aspiring Olympic champion once she discovers the virtues of real American spunk.
This entry probably deserves a language warning right there. Maybe it’s better if some of our readers can’t figure out our subtle way of explaining the film’s plot. Anyway, Kristin and her fellow female swim team members are soon thriving on plenty of protein. This gets the attention of evil Russian agents Ron Jeremy and Seka, who are dispatched to find out how American women can seem set to win gold medals without secretly being American men.
Olympic Fever is full of proud patriotism, which includes the depiction of a traitorous American character. There’s also some amateur military action where an X-team serves as forebearers to
The A-Team. And thanks to Jeremy figuring out Kristin’s secret training formula, there’s an implicit endorsement of the American essence being inherently superior to the lowly Russian essence.
You also get plenty of good ol’ American porn stars from the days before excessive body modification. Sadly, President Carter screwed up
Olympic Fever as surely as he did everything else in the late ’70s. It’s sad to watch the film while knowing that Kristin wouldn’t get to participate in the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow. Jimmy would end up boycotting that event in what he imagined to be some kind of bold stance against the invasion of Afghanistan. In truth, Kristin’s presence probably would’ve toppled the Berlin Wall a lot sooner than 1989. Reagan would’ve still deserved the credit.
Make it your own: It’s not difficult to order
Olympic Fever online. It’s just difficult to find a link to order the film that’s suitable for the workplace. Instead,
here’s a link to our Playboy.com interview with Ron Jeremy from a few years back. It’s nice to see that’s still around.
As fair warning, we’re thinking about doing more porn for our next entry, so some folks might not want to bother coming back until next week.
