4/30/09: The Miscellaneous
We’ve often
congratulated ourselves on the high standards we keep at RightWingTrash. We don’t merely force
our conservative beliefs on all kinds of pop culture—although we get
accused of that often enough. Still, there have been a few things we’ve
wanted to write about, but couldn’t quite rationalize turning into a
full entry. As we’re about to start the final month of RightWingTrash,
let's look at five films that almost made the cut:
The Car (1977): You can find lots of folks who adore this dopey epic about a demonic Lincoln Mark III terrorizing a desert community. Nothing about the film really works, and it’s probably the most embarrassing project that Anton LaVey was ever associated with during his long stint as the founder of the Church Of Satan.
The Car is still a lot of fun, and we’re glad to have seen the film during its initial theatrical run—when it was already apparent that it meant something to see a big sedan mowing down a few hippie types, not to mention some bicyclists who probably really had it coming.
Whispers in the Dark (1992): A lot of unerotic thrillers were released in the wake of
Basic Instinct. This was one of the more forgettable. We’re not even sure about the plot, except there’s a female psychiatrist who thinks her boyfriend is a killer. Also, Deborah Kara Unger is really sexy in the film. That’s not what finally got our attention while we were watching it, though. The real selling point is when two of the great icons of Sensitive ’70s Cinema get murdered in a pleasingly brutal fashion.
Blast from the Past (1999): This big-budget romantic comedy may only count as trash thanks to a performance by Christopher Walken. He plays a not-so-paranoid ’60s dad who mistakenly locks his family in a bomb shelter for 35 years. (In his defense, the guy still saves his family from an airplane that crashes into their house.) Brendan Fraser plays the innocent grown son who emerges to search for more supplies in what he imagines to be post-apocalyptic America. He certainly finds much to be alarmed about—especially after the first person he meets is a transsexual prostitute who Fraser assumes to be a sexual mutant. Anyway, some vapid young people learn valuable lessons from the important values that Fraser was taught down in the bomb shelter. To give credit where it’s due, we were happy to see this one noted on what was otherwise a depressing
National Review article on top conservative movies.
Deceived (1991): Here’s a nice thriller that never got much attention. Goldie Hawn stars as Manhattan gal Adrienne Saunders, who has a wonderful career and a loving husband and a sweet young daughter. Then it all goes wrong when Adrienne finds out that she never really knew the man she married. We’d have more of a conservative angle if Hawn’s character had the same ’60s background as the actress. Sadly, that isn’t addressed in the film. There’s still one great scene where Adrienne has to accept the fact that her fabulous lifestyle has left her surrounded by dolts who insist on having conversations with children while adult lives are at stake.
Diamond Head (1963): This won’t be the last time we mention Charlton Heston here. It’ll be one of the weirder times, though.
Diamond Head is a bizarre soap opera with Heston as the villainous Richard “King” Howland. The white Hawaiian land baron doesn’t want his sister marrying one of the locals—even if the guy is played by James Darren. The fun thing is that Heston is playing a good liberal who has aspirations to become a United States Senator. The star is perfectly giddy at capturing all the good Leftist hypocrisy, from King’s own Hawaiian mistress to his resentment that Darren’s brother somehow made it to medical school without having to ask the Howlands for assistance. This was probably Heston’s most subversive performance until he got away with that pro-gun speech in the
Planet of the Apes remake.
Make it your own: There aren’t any rarities among all the stuff listed above. We should also note that we might try doing this one more time before our final entry on Memorial Day. That’s if we have enough miscellaneous content left to list. It’s hard to keep track of all the times we’ve congratulated ourselves without bothering to write about it.
