 You can't get more off-blog than I've managed over the past week. I didn't even manage to hack out a clever Hanukkah posting that would've also set up some assorted Year's Best/Decade's Best entries. I am indeed blessed to blame all my negligence on deadlines, which I'll continue to concentrate on through the rest of the month. I'll need a distraction, though, and I'll be giving thought to plenty of Year End/Decade End lists that I'll start posting on January 1st. They might not be interesting, but it'll be a decent summary of entertainment that doesn't contain stupid Leftist messages. Not that I can't enjoy the occasional Leftist message, of course. I'm tolerant, even outside of the holiday season. Sadly, the most conservative movie for this Christmas season seems to be the bland comedy Have You Heard About the Morgans? Maybe you can find Astroboy still playing at a $1 theater. That was the most Randian film of this very Randian year—but that's an entry for another time. Until then, a very belated Happy Hanukkah, and Merry Christmas!
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 I enjoyed spending some time with adult actress Lisa Ann last week. She's best known as the star of Who's Nailin' Paylin?, but I've been assured that conservatives wouldn't have any interest in that kind of thing. Instead, here's a pitch for the strangely wholesome Miss Jones. That link takes you to a wonderful site that "contains no nudity or material of a pornographic nature." What you get is plenty of lovely cheesecake shots of the accident-prone Miss Jones, who can never quite manage to keep her clothes from flying away in some sort of mishap. The free tour has plenty of pics that capture the nicely retro feel of the assorted photo shoots. It's certainly worth a visit for fans of Mad Men. I don't think Mad Men is a particularly right-wing show, but it seems popular with plenty of right-wing sites that wouldn't be interested in talking to Lisa Ann.
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 This has been a particularly lousy year for celebrity deaths. Today, however, has Dick Clark making it to his 80th birthday. You won’t hear much celebrating from right-wing websites, though. That’s a shame, since America’s Teenager is also a proud conservative. His personal beliefs often came into play while he saved rock ’n roll during a few rough periods. Clark is more relevant than ever, too, as you can see by this old salute to his unjustly forgotten 45 “The Fable of Fun Country.” He was also there when things got less fun with the hippies in Wild in the Streets. There’s no guarantee that Clark will be here for our next New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, so let’s have some champagne while he’s still around.
Speaking of the New Year, entries here might actually become more frequent as 2009 comes to a close. I’ll probably use this site as a place to list my Year-End and Decade-End lists—except for one or two that will run as articles elsewhere. That isn’t to suggest that any of those deep thoughts are really worth more than a Twitter.
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 It was a pretty big deal when 1987’s The Monster Squad came out on DVD in 2007. The kiddie horror film had been a cable perennial that entertained plenty of now-grown latchkey kids. Fewer geeks noticed when all 13 episodes of 1976’s The Monster Squad were released this year. There seemed to be a lot less fondness for the short-lived Saturday morning TV series. That’s a shame, since the TV show was (and remains) corny kiddie fun with plenty of asides for the adults. (“A compact laser beam gun! It hasn’t been invented yet, but I use it anyway.”) The Monster Squad was also a tribute to the old Batman TV series, right down to wild art direction that bypasses psychedelia and heads straight into glam.
The high concept is that earnest young criminology student Walt (played by Fred Grandy) works nights at a wax museum. His innovative Crime Computer emits vibrations that animate the wax figures of Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolfman—played, respectively, by Michael Lane, Henry Polic II, and Buck Kartalian. The monsters want to make up for their infamous pasts by tracking down modern-day criminals. These include Queen Bee (Alice Ghostley), Music Man (Marty Allen), The Astrologer (Jonathan Harris), Ultra Witch (Julie Newmar), and The Weatherman (Avery Schreiber). The show had more than just prominent guest stars, though. The various henchmen also offer some fun surprises, including blonde bombshell Simone Griffeth as a fat woman at the circus run by the malevolent Ringmaster (Billy Curtis).
The Monster Squad also offers conservative indoctrination. Fred Grandy would later become a Republican Congressman, and he must have noticed that a few villains on the show are out to make their millions by taxing the public. There’s also an evil sheik, and The Weatherman tries to take over the world by threatening to manipulate the climate unless he’s elected President of the United States.
It’s no wonder that Walt can inspire classic bad guys to attempt doing some good. He's a sweetly old-fashioned guy who’s always ready to discuss virtues straight out of the 1950s. The Monster Squad is never so adult that the scripts mock Walt’s sincerity. Nobody probably needed more than the original 13 episodes, but the show is still something that any kid should enjoy—and subversive enough that the li’l tyke might learn not to trust politicians.
(Graphic courtesy of the fine Plaid Stallions website, which has a stellar tribute to The Monster Squad here.)
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 It doesn’t look like my Mac McAnally interview for Stomp & Stammer will be available online, so I’m putting the article up here. It’s a pretty interesting piece about a modest cult artist who’s written plenty of hits and recently became a chart-topping country artist. There’s not much political content, but here’s a link to a patriotic fan-made video for the first single from McAnally’s new Down by the River album. And here’s a McAnally quote that didn’t make the article, although it helps explain how the guy has spent a long career impressing both rednecks and the intelligentsia: “I’m always a little bit of a devil’s advocate. In Toby [Keith]’s circle, they all think I’m a liberal. When I’m with the [Jimmy] Buffett band, they all think I’m an emissary of Fox News.”
No Problem Here
Avoiding Attention Pays Off Just Fine for Mac McAnally
John Prine. Don Williams. Dean Dillon. Those are just a few of the great American songwriters who could be sitting anonymously in the chic lounge of a midtown Manhattan hotel. But none could be as anonymous as Mac McAnally, despite—or maybe because of—his stint this year as a #1 artist on the county charts. That came courtesy of proper star Kenny Chesney, who insisted that the songwriter share a performing credit after joining in a verse on the McAnally-penned “Down the Road.”
To be fair, McAnally’s taped appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon hasn’t aired yet. Maybe somebody would notice him from that. McAnally certainly hasn’t changed since he made his self-titled debut album back in 1977. Maybe he’s a little less cherubic, but the massive mop of red hair and matching full beard is pretty distinctive. That’s the same distinctive face on the cover of his new album Down by the River.
Which, incidentally, isn’t what Mac was promoting on Jimmy Fallon’s show. He was appearing in his usual role as sideman to Jimmy Buffett.
“Yeah,” says McAnally, “I’ve been playing live with Jimmy since 1996. He gives me a little showcase in the middle of the concert, and we do a short acoustic set together. I’ve also been guesting with Kenny on some live dates. I’ll be doing some solo shows on nights off to promote the new album, and I’ve done a few interviews here in New York. It’s mostly been people who are just curious about why a guy my age is still around. Either that, or it’s people who go back to the beginning.”
That would be fans like myself, who were listening when “It’s a Crazy World” made it into the Top 40 as McAnally’s first single. It seemed like a promising start for a songwriter who was barely out of his teens. That was before 1978’s No Problem Here kind of bombed. Nobody cared that the twisted humor and sharp insight worked as a Southern-fried companion to Warren Zevon’s Excitable Boy. By 1980, RCA had signed McAnally up for the fine Cutting Corners. That one might have launched McAnally into the realm of lite-pop heroes like Michael Franks and Jim Photoglo.
But Cutting Corners didn’t sell, and the casual observer might have thought McAnally was set to join Dean Friedman and Starbuck as the quirkiest one-hit wonders of the ’70s. That’s when McAnally’s career became one of the more fortunate stories in rock ’n roll.
“The regime was changing at RCA,” explains McAnally, “and David Geffen came along and bought my contract. I knew RCA wouldn’t be pushing the album, but there was David telling me that he wanted to be an old-fashioned patron of the arts. He didn’t care if I was commercial or not. He just wanted to be connected with what I was doing. That was pretty inspiring. I remember writing ‘Old Flame’ on the way home from that meeting, which became a big hit on the country charts for Alabama. I was going every which way musically, but I knew that David Geffen was there wanting me to keep working.”
Geffen, of course, already had his plans to move from artist management to record mogul. McAnally would end up as the first act signed to the Geffen label.
“Actually,” McAnally notes, “there wasn’t even a Geffen Records yet. My contract was with ‘an as-yet-unnamed joint venture.’ It took me about three years to get the next record ready. Nothin’ But the Truth came out in 1982, and that was probably my biggest attempt at doing something that wasn’t natural. It’s nothing embarrassing. I was in love with a lot of Steely Dan records, so I was trying to expand my harmonic knowledge. I fooled around with a few things during the ’80s. By the time that Live and Learn came out in 1992, I was back to that narrative storyteller kind of thing.”
That stretch between Nothin' But the Truth and Live and Learn was also when McAnally became a popular country songwriter. He was having a fine time raising his children, hanging around the house, and thriving despite some classic industry woes.
“I had signed a contract at the beginning of my career,” he explains, “and now it’s framed on the walls of lawyers’ offices as the deal you shouldn’t sign. I was a teenager from Mississippi, so maybe I can be excused for signing this all-inclusive deal that covered management and production and everything else. But the way the publishing deal went, I owned the publishing rights to any of my songs that didn’t go on my albums. My publishing company was flourishing, and I was playing on sessions and getting to sing. Then I started producing bands. It gave me plenty to do while I was trying to work out my contract and make another album for Geffen.”
McAnally was also spared trying to launch a career in the video age. Things were tough enough for a burly and bearded redhead back in 1977. There wasn’t a stylist alive who could’ve gotten McAnally on MTV.
“Yeah,” agrees McAnally, “I was never going to be a visual artist. My heroes were literary guys. Flannery O’Connor was my big influence. Writers were third-person voices, so I never even thought of myself as being there in the song. You know, I grew up on a farm where you were told it’s a character flaw to draw attention to yourself. I’m not comfortable doing it now. Fortunately, that’s put more pressure on my songwriting to bring in whatever attention I can get.”
McAnally would wrap up the ’80s with the joint release of Finish Lines and Simple Life on, respectively, Geffen and Warner Bros. He wouldn’t be free from his contractual debts until he was released from MCA after 1994’s Knots. (“It’s good to know a friend’s doing you a favor when you’re dropped from a label.”) Geffen brought McAnally back for 1999’s Word of Mouth on DreamWorks, and then the songwriter went indie for 2004’s Semi-True Stories.
McAnally wrote plenty of hits for country artists during all this—but nothing suggested that he’d be topping the country charts as a performer in 2009.
“I’d written ‘Down the Road’ 21 years before on a Christmas morning,” McAnally recalls. “It was a very organic song, and making the record with Kenny was just as organic. He called me up and asked me to come over because he was going to record one of my songs the next day. He didn’t know which one. We decided to do ‘Down the Road,’ and Kenny asked me to join in the last verse as a duet. There wasn’t any A&R input, no drums, just me on two guitars and Erik Darken beating a wooden box. I never thought any of that would make me somebody.”
Fortunately, that fluke stardom would also lead to the release of Down by the River. McAnally’s dedicated fan base—and he has one—is used to waiting long years for a new album. Down by the River is yet another fine collection of catchy country-pop and gorgeous balladry. You also get a typically sardonic novelty tune, and one of McAnally’s genuine tearjerkers. In this case, it’s a salute to selflessness called “You First.”
“There probably wouldn’t be a new album if it hadn’t been for ‘You First,’” McAnally says. “I wrote that thinking it could be a big hit for someone, so I went to my manager—who’s also Toby Keith’s manager—asking him who I should pitch it to. He told me he’d listen to it and give it some thought. He called me back 20 minutes later saying, ‘You sing this. This is you.’ I told him that it wouldn’t be as big as a hit. He said he didn’t care, that I had to sing this song. Nobody had said that to me in a while.”
Typically, McAnally also had to be reminded that it’s a good idea for a #1 country artist to try putting out an album.
“I’m a hard worker as far as being a songwriter,” McAnally says, “or working in the studio, but I haven’t always been the best ambassador of my own work. I’m never going to be the kind of guy who seeks out the spotlight. When I’ve written something that sounds like a hit over the past 20 years, I hand off the baton to one of my buddies who has a bus payment and a personal trainer and a career already going. That’s worked out good for everybody.”
It’s worked out well enough for McAnally to join the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame in 2007. McAnally also remains busy with other people’s tours and producing other people’s albums—ranging from Little Feat to ukulele whiz kid Jake Shimabukuru. It’s a busy career from a guy who could’ve long ago dropped out of the industry.
“It’s true,” agrees McAnally. “There’s every reason to think I’d be gone by now. I’ve received a couple of big honors over the past few years that all feel like Lifetime Achievement awards. You’re supposed to be finished after you get a few of those, but I feel like things are just starting. I realize I’m very blessed, and I can enjoy the process a lot more now—whether or not the audience knows who I am. But there are times when I wish I was a better guitar player.”
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 I wish that I could call my recently-unearthed copy of At War With Society a curio of the 1990s. Instead, there are probably several variations of this 1998 compilation to be found in downloadable form. Anyway, here’s the liner notes to this collection of songs by proud Leftist punks such as Anti-Flag, UK Subs, and Reagan Youth:
Long bored with corporate mush? Instead of complaining, we opted to Fight Back with this act of commercial disobedience. Herein you will find a collection of recordings we are proud to have been involved with, in some capacity, over the last ten years. Too abrasive for the mainstream, these artists occupy the essential US underground. An underground. At War With Society.
Here’s what it says on the back of the CD:
Film & TV licensing inquiries: B.T. Music>>142 West End Ave., #23 W, New York, NY...
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 This will be the only entry during the busiest week of a very busy month—and all I’m doing is endorsing The Vampire’s Assistant. Actually, the full title is either Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant, or The Vampire’s Assistant: The Cirque du Freak Saga Begins. I’m not sure yet. The important thing is that this teenage vampire tale is like going to see Twilight as directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis. Please don’t Google this Friday to see how many other writers have hacked out a similar line—although they’ll probably go with invoking Tod Browning.
There’s a lot to enjoy in The Vampire’s Assistant, but the most remarkable thing is a lack of moronic politics. The last film from co-writer/director Paul Weitz was 2006’s lousy American Dreamz. That comedy tried to explain that American soldiers are the real terrorists running around our country. To be fair, Weitz also co-directed 2002’s About A Boy, which remains an underrated film that goofs on aging hippies.
It’s still unexpected when the biggest creep in The Vampire’s Assistant turns out to be a high-school history teacher. We first see the character while he’s trying to force his ancient peacenik ignorance on his bored students. Then he attempts to shut down a touring freak show because the mere idea is so politically incorrect. One freak helpfully points out the teacher’s hypocrisy. That may not make for a lot of political content, but it’s certainly our kind of political content.
Also, there’s this young actress named Jessica Carlson who is easily the cutest girl to hit the big screen in a very long time. She gets even cuter once you find out why her character is hanging around with the freaks.
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 As I see other writers regularly maintain their websites, I wish I’d saved my old t-shirt that said, “We Work for a Living, You Paper-Shuffling Prick!” The problem is that calling whatever I do for a living “work” would only disgrace my ancestors. I have been busy shuffling the pixels, though. Fortunately, Todd Seavey has been busier doing the kind of writing that used to occupy my time. His site has spent this week exploring the political ramifications of assorted post-apocalyptic action films and music videos. Sadly, Todd still refuses to take my advice and write a career-defining essay about the final scene of 1984’s Rats: Night of Terror. That’s probably because that would involve Todd watching a movie called Rats: Night of Terror.
I was particularly impressed by this recent entry, though. Todd makes a good case for how the original VHS reissues of the sordid Mondo documentaries might have convinced certain young idiots that Western culture is a pretty good idea. I was never too interested in those documentaries myself, mostly due to an adolescent trauma when Mondo Cane showed up in the middle of what was clearly billed as an all-night horror marathon. I wasn’t completely against documentaries, of course. I’d once sneaked into a movie theater to see one about the crowning of Miss Nude America.
Anyway, Todd's Mondo Magic entry is something that I should've written back in this site’s early days. Hopefully, I’ll continue to become even more redundant on the political front while making other contributions to society. For example, I’ll note that the Le Trapeze Swing Club will be showing the New York Yankees playoff games in their buffet area during their upcoming orgies. Now you can plan your weekend.
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 Why, yes, I have been busy lately. I’m more baffled than ever by all these people who Twitter and blog while a mere heavily-researched 16,828 words ruins my week. Of course, I still find time to read. This week, I enjoyed Encyclopedia Brown Solves Them All—originally published in 1968, although my printing is from 1972. The title’s been constantly reprinted since then.
My kid is busy going through a big Berenstain Bears period, which is fortunate. I'll need time to weed out the Leftist messages in these Encyclopedia Brown stories. I shouldn’t be surprised. The Leftists have always been polluting pop culture. The more disturbing thing about the Encyclopedia Brown series is that the boy detective must’ve gotten his nickname by being the only 10-year-old in his neighborhood who could dress himself.
“The Case of Sir Biscuit-Shooter” is a good example of a mystery that could be solved by any vaguely sentient 7-year-old. It’s also a good example of author Donald J. Sobol’s bizarre insertion of politics into an otherwise mundane story. In this one, the circus has come to town, and Encyclopedia Brown has free tickets courtesy of his pal Lionel—whose Uncle Barney is a clown. Originally, though, Barney had another job. Here’s how that’s explained:
Encyclopedia knew about Lionel’s Uncle Barney. He had sold used cars, he had sold houses, and he had gone to prison for two years. Uncle Barney hadn’t cheated people more than most men who sold used cars or houses. But he had been caught.
I’ll probably never be a real-estate agent or used-car salesman. Still, I think I’ll boycott Encyclopedia Brown just out of respect for parents who dare to earn a living by non-creative and pro-capitalist means. No great loss for my kid, anyway. I’m more excited about introducing him to Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators.
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 We’re supposed to be concerned about a real child molester today, but let’s consider the new trailer for the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. I knew that there was a reason for revamping the look of Freddy Krueger. Specifically, the new facial make-up for the legendary slasher was meant to look like an actual burn victim. I was told that this would make Freddy seem more sympathetic—which I took to be a nod to how some burn victims had once (reasonably enough) complained about how Freddy Krueger’s monstrous looks didn’t help their own rehabilitation.
I didn’t think that Freddy Krueger would need to look sympathetic because the Nightmare remake would present him as an innocent nice guy who was burned alive by a lynch mob looking for vengeance upon a child molester. For those who don’t remember, the Krueger of the ’80s series was definitely guilty when he was set on fire. That’s why it was so creepy when Freddy almost got an endorsement deal with Doritos.
Anyway, this new trailer strongly suggests that the Krueger of teenage nightmares began as a poor misunderstood soul. We got that with How the Grinch Stole Christmas, too. Also, consider that Nightmare co-scripter Wesley Strick wrote this film. The truth is probably that Krueger’s innocence will be determined by audience testing. Still, I’m curious to find out more about the character that’s being played by Clancy Brown. He’s the (really fine) actor you see leading the lynch mob hunting down Krueger at the beginning of the trailer. We’ll know where the script was going if Brown’s character turns out to be some kind of local family-values figure.
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